Idle Thoughts
by Noxious-Fics
Summary: Katara sometimes lets her mind wander when she waterbends...  oneshot, somewhat of a drabble.


**This too is plotless. I just always thought that bending, assuming that you're not actively training or fighting, would be a relaxing thing, especially to someone like Katara, who is pretty much a natural at bending. **

**FadedxMemories**

Katara smiled softly as she allowed the cool water to pass through the air around her. She was in control. She bent the water, but the water flowed through her. She did not force the water; she only guided its movement. To a beginner, this concept made no sense. How could one be in control but not force the movements? That was a question she herself had asked in the beginning, but now she knew why. Water was an element that flowed. Forcing it into sharp movements would lead only to disaster.

Waterbending was in her blood. Without it, she was not complete. Thus, the idea of Ty Lee's style of fighting, chi blocking, was both fascinating and horrifying to her. She remembered well the tingling feeling of her arms that had slowly given way to a heavy feeling. She remembered how she couldn't even move her arms, and how useless she'd been. That scared her, yet fascinated her. Chi could be used to heal, when moved properly, and that was a fact she had always known. To heal using bending required her to manipulate the chi in someone's, be it her own or someone else's, body. But to use it to incapacitate? To paralyze? That thought terrified her more than she cared to admit. It terrified her more than her bloodbending did, which disgusted her.

Bloodbending, she mused to herself, had no beneficial uses. The only thing it could be used for was for evil. It was a dark power she had sworn not to use. She could control every drop of water in a person's body, from blood to urine. She could block arteries and veins, she could squeeze organs until they burst, she could twist limbs into unnatural positions, or she could force someone to do whatever she wanted them to. She could make her enemies kill themselves. She could make her captors free her and tie themselves up instead. She could force anyone to do anything. That thought terrified her more than anything, yet the feeling of bloodbending was indescribable. Having it performed on her once, she recalled the fear as her body had stopped obeying her mind's commands. She recalled the pain of having her blood manipulated. But when she herself had used the power on Hama…

The feeling of being so powerful, of having that power, and of using it was intoxicating. She could feel each individual droplet of water in that old woman's body, and she could guide them to her will. She felt like she could do anything she wanted. And thus, the monster inside her had been born. Now, whenever the full moon came, she could feel the fluids rushing through every living creature, and she could feel the water rushing through the plants around her at any time other than the new moon.

She could do so much with that kind of power. So much. She could kill so many people who deserved to die. She could punish thieves, murderers, and other wrongdoers. She could go with Sokka to hunt for food and kill without leaving a mark. She would be the perfect assassin; one who left no trace. That's what the monster in her mind told her as she felt the liquid inside every living thing. It was sickening. Terrible. Horrifying.

Yet, the same power that allowed her to take control of another being also allowed her to heal. She had the power, but it didn't mean she had to use it. She could heal. She could defend herself. She shot a few icicle darts at a nearby tree. Waterbending didn't have to be as dark as bloodbending, she knew.

She envied Aang, to some extent. His power could only be used for good. There were no dark aspects to it. At least, that's what it seemed like sometimes. She had seen the destruction caused by blizzard winds first hand in the South Pole, but when she thought of those gusts, which blew down tents and buried poor souls, she couldn't reconcile it with the airbending Aang had shown her. Air was like water, it flowed. It could not be forced or entrapped. It was free to go where it wanted.

Was she free? No, she was not. She thought she was, at first, when she first left her icy homeland and got to see the world for the first time. But now she saw things differently. Before, she had been trapped in both a physical and mental sense. She had been trapped in the icy wasteland that she loved, and she was trapped in her role as a girl in the Water Tribe. She was set in her destiny. She would have grown up, gotten engaged, married, and then she would have had children. She would have been a wife and a mother, nothing more. Now, she was free of the tundra, but she was not free from duty. She had a new duty. She played mother to Aang, Sokka, and Toph. Her new family. She was a warrior aiding the Avatar in his quest to master the four elements and to end the war started a hundred years ago by Fire Lord Sozin. She was meant to teach Aang waterbending. She was meant to be a fighter.

She was still stuck. After this war was over, she would have to play the part of peacemaker. She would have to help with repairs from the war, and she would have to help rebuild relations between the three remaining nations. She would probably have to marry some stupid noble from another nation, or at least from the Northern Water Tribe, to help with relations. But she knew one thing she would do. She would help those in need after the war, no matter what. She didn't care where they were from. She would never turn her back on people who need her. She had sworn that long ago, and she intended to keep her vows.

She didn't want that. She didn't want that at all. But she would stick to it. After all, if that's what was needed to bring peace back to the world, she would do it. They were all making sacrifices. It would be unfair on the others if she didn't play her part.

Suddenly, this whole thing seemed stupid. This whole fight. What would it accomplish, anyway, if they didn't win? She was confident in Aang. She knew that he had the capacity to save the world. She believed it. He was the Avatar, and he was also one of her best friends. How could he not win? She knew that their friendship was not a real way to judge his abilities, but she'd seen him overcome many obstacles, and she'd seen him grow. He was a master airbender and almost a master waterbender (though not as proficient as she was in waterbending). According to Toph, he was a pretty good earthbender, too.

And besides, he had Sokka. He had Toph. He had the support of many Earth Kingdom and Water Tribe citizen. And he had her. She would never, ever let anything happen to him.

He was her hope for peace. Without him, the Fire Nation was unstoppable.

"Katara! We have to get going!" Aang's voice broke her from her thoughts. The ribbon of water she had been absently twisting around into intricate patterns froze before swooping back into the stream.

"I'm coming, Aang!" she called in the general direction of the camp. She took a deep breath, then she walked away from the only activity that gave her time to sort out her thoughts undisturbed.

**Hmm…so this turned into a little more than just her thoughts on bending, which was what I was originally going for. Oh well.**

**Review?**


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